Monday, February 21, 2011

Shadows

Oh boy has it been a long time since I blogged! I didn't really want to post anything that was superficial or what I was dealing with, so I am deciding to post now with something that is really weighing heavy on my heart.

Here we go!

The other night I was taking a walk around the Lunsford Trail! It was beautiful and I was walking with one of my very precious friends. We both are striving to become the woman that God wants us to be and it was such an immense blessing that we were able to talk.

As we were walking, and there was a lull in the conversation I began to look ahead of me at the shadow that the light was projecting. Whenever I got right at the light my shadow was pretty close to my actual size, it was dark, defined and vivid. As I kept walking away from the light, my shadow got taller, yet began to become more hazy, the vividness and definite lines were beginning to fade. Then when I got far enough away my shadow began to go behind me and I was unable to see it until I got to the next light.

Well, here comes the analogy-
As I walked toward the light I could really see who I was, I could see how I am defined by God standards and not by my own. I could easily find and define parts of my body. I think this is amazing. When we strive to walk towards the light of God we begin to be shaped in his image, we are ALWAYS perfect to him, but when we strive to be in a place where his light shines right on top of us we can see how perfect his plan really is. When we strive to walk towards the light and out of the darkness we begin to see who we really are and how we are being molded.

The next part of this silly analogy is when I started to walk further away from the light, my shadow became less vivid and more hazy. I think this is the same in our lives. When we (or at least I) begin to see God's plans unfolding I try and grab the reigns of my life and tell them where to go. But as soon as I try to take control, the vision gets hazy and it is easy to mistake things. When we are not in the will or under the complete control of God things begin to really lose its outline and it begins to fall apart.

The last little part of this analogy is when the shadow goes behind me. Once I try to grab the reigns of my life I understand that I can not do life on my own and God tend to kick my butt back into gear, and he lets me see my mistakes if I look behind me (just like the shadow) but it no longer defines who I am, because as I walk toward the light again God starts to shape my life in a way that is better then I could ever plan or imagine myself. That is when my shadow begins to be more defined by what God wants of me and his criteria for my life and not the worlds.

I know that this analogy was a little rough, but it really hit me deep and it helped me see how lately I have been in a vicious circle of trying to control my own life and not taking the time to see what God has planned for me. When I take the time to see the beauty of how God works in my life I am able to enjoy who I am and not be defined by the things of this world.

During my quiet time I re-read this verse that I have read so many times and it really hit me in a way I have never read it before:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
-Philippians 3:12-14